The Present

February 15, 2018 | Red Jocks

I’m at sixes and sevens with you. You consume my thoughts completely and I die a little more with time. Your silence is killing me. I want to hear your voice, feel the texture of your skin and witness your contagious smile. Share my thoughts with you, let you know that I still don’t understand your crisis. I’m suffocating while pretending to be that strong.

The soul I love is gone. Words have no meaning when they fall on deaf ears. You laugh as I suffocate in this sadness. Confused, attempting to make sense of this labyrinth in my mind, trying not to buckle beneath the weight of emotion. I’m exhausted.

You are dead to me and I grieve your loss. I’m angry because I never got to say goodbye, the choice was not mine! My flesh trembles with a pain that numbs me completely, like travelling at the speed of light. I lost you when I lost my mind. I’ve kept it to myself while forgetting to breathe.

I wish I’d seen this coming. I could’ve been more prepared. I don’t know how much longer I can endure this void? Each tear destroys another piece of my heart but it’s invisible to you.

I did not know real happiness until I met you. You encouraged me to be my best self. I’d give everything up just to be with you again. There’s nothing else I want more in this life. Te amo guapo